I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
