Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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