Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
