Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
