If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
