I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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