Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
false alarm. still invincible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
