why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
