Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
