Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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