just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
