Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i believe in u and ur pee
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
