I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
