I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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