Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
