I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
