dude i'm inner monologue high
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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