remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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