I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
