can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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