You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
