Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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