Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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