he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
