Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
