I want to stick my p in your. b.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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