Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize