he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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