I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize