I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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