I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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