you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
