Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize