if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
