Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
