you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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