i barfeds in our rink
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
