i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
