Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
