Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
