For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
and you fell through a lawn chair
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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