I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
