Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
