I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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