forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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