He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Someone shit on the floor
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
