he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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