i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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