If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
