why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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