And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
