So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
