Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
