I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
