Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
