We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
