that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
