Yo dont text me then not text me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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