I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
