I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
