too bad you live with your parents still
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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