was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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