Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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