Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
